In an interview with Lesley and Matt Dzik, a couple from Champaign, Illinois, they shared their personal journey of navigating political differences within their marriage. The couple, aged 56 and 68 respectively, has found ways to stay connected despite their opposing views on issues like abortion and COVID-19 vaccinations.
Lesley, a Republican who opposes abortion, and Matt, a Democrat who believes in a woman’s right to choose, often find themselves in heated debates. One memorable argument occurred while driving on Interstate 74, where Lesley realized her voice was getting louder in disagreement over abortion. Recognizing the escalating tension, she suggested they pull over to cool down. What started as a discussion filled with expressive hand gestures shifted to a moment of connection as they held each other’s hands and exchanged affirmations of love.
“These kinds of disagreements are common in marriages,” Lesley noted, “whether it’s about money, parenting, or the complex world of politics.” Their differences intensified leading up to the presidential election, raising doubts for Lesley when she saw Democratic signs in Matt’s yard. Both were determined, however, to make their relationship work.
Lesley sought solutions through reading and eventually discovered Braver Angels, a nonprofit organization founded by a therapist after Donald Trump’s 2016 election aimed at bridging political divides. “This organization, with its blend of red and blue perspectives, gave me hope. I felt safe and not alone,” she expressed.
The Dzik couple exemplifies partnership; they volunteer together at a local theater for free shows and practice their faith as Lesley, a devout Christian, and Matt, a Catholic convert, regularly attend church. However, their political disagreements sometimes lead to silent treatment for days, with reminders from a therapist: “Can I offer you a hug? If not, say, ‘I love you, I’ll be back in ten minutes.’”
Through Braver Angels workshops, they learned techniques to maintain respectful political conversations, emphasizing the importance of understanding rather than winning arguments. Over time, they found common ground, such as their decision to fly an American flag in their front yard. “We share the same heart. For me, the flag is more inspiring than any sign in the yard and represents something enduring,” Lesley explained. Matt echoed her sentiment, viewing the flag as a unifying symbol that transcends their political differences.
